Short answer: Yes. In the Bible, lust is a sin: it is a deliberate, self-serving craving for what God has not given you, most often sexual, and Jesus treats it as sin in the heart before any act takes place. But attraction, appetite and desire for your own spouse are not lust. God made us with desire, and the sin is in what we do with it. Lust is forgivable, and it can be fought.
In This Article
The word "lust" gets thrown around as if it meant any sexual feeling at all. That is part of why people write to me so confused and ashamed. They notice an attractive person, feel something, and wonder if they have just sinned. They have not, and I want to show why from Scripture.
People in the pews kept asking the same questions on this one: where is the line, does it count if I never act, and can it be forgiven? This article takes those in order.
Desire Vs Lust: Where Is The Line?
The Bible uses a family of words for desire, and many of them are neutral or even good. Paul speaks of a good desire to be with Christ. The Song of Songs celebrates the longing of a husband and wife. God created appetite for food, rest and marriage. So we cannot define lust as "wanting."
Lust, in Scripture, is desire that has turned away from its proper object. It is wanting what is not yours to have, wanting it for yourself, and nursing the want. James traces the path plainly:
but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
James 1:14-15 (NIV)
Notice the steps. Temptation arrives, and a thought passing through is not yet sin. It becomes sin when I take hold of it, feed it and let it carry me. An old saying captures it: you cannot stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest in your hair.
| Healthy Desire | Lust |
|---|---|
| Notices beauty and moves on | Lingers, rehearses, replays |
| Directed toward one's own spouse | Directed toward someone who is not yours |
| Sees a person made in God's image | Sees an object to be used |
| Can be offered to God | Has to be hidden |
| Serves love and commitment | Serves self |
Lust is not only sexual either. The same word family is used for craving money, power and status. This article is about the sexual kind, because that is what most readers are asking about. For the wider picture see What Is Sin? and greed.
What Did Jesus Teach In Matthew 5:28?
This is the central text. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus took the commandment against adultery and moved it from the bedroom into the heart:
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:28 (NIV)
I want to be careful here. Jesus did not say a man who sees a woman has sinned. He said the one who looks "lustfully," which carries the sense of looking in order to desire her, with intention. It is the deliberate, continued gaze. He is describing a heart that has already left its marriage vows, or its self-control, even if the body has not followed yet.
That is why the Ten Commandments end with a ban on coveting (see The Ten Commandments). The last command goes after the root that all the others grow from. Job understood the principle long before Jesus preached it:
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.
Job 31:1 (NIV)
Job did not say he made a covenant not to have eyes. He decided ahead of time what he would do with them. That is the practical wisdom of this verse. Lust is a matter of the will as well as the nature, which is why Scripture holds us responsible for it. Paul states God's purpose without ambiguity:
It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (NIV)
Related questions on this site: Is watching porn a sin?, what sexual immorality means, and masturbation, where lust is the real hinge of the argument.
Is Lust Sinful In Marriage?
This question is more common than people admit. The short version: sexual desire for your spouse is not lust in the condemned sense. God designed marriage as the place for sexual desire, and the Bible speaks warmly about it. Hebrews says the marriage bed is to be honored, and Paul tells husbands and wives not to deprive each other.
That said, lust can show up inside a marriage in two ways.
When A Spouse Becomes An Object
If one partner demands, manipulates or treats the other only as a means to pleasure, that is selfishness wearing a married label. Love gives, and lust takes. Marriage is where each is meant to serve the other (see Is Sex A Sin?).
When Desire Wanders Outside The Marriage
Pornography, fantasy about other people and flirtation are lust even when the person is married, and Jesus's warning in Matthew 5 was spoken straight to married people. Wedding rings do not turn off the problem. They only raise the stakes. If you are tangled in this, adultery and heart-adultery are related, and both are covered by grace and by the call to repent.
Married readers sometimes ask whether it is wrong to think of their own spouse that way. I would say desire directed toward your own spouse is not what Jesus condemned. But keep it honest and connected to the person: when private thought pulls you away from your spouse instead of toward them, that is a warning light.
Is Lust An Unforgivable Sin?
No, and I want to say that as firmly as I can. The Bible names one unforgivable sin, the final, hardened rejection of the Holy Spirit's work. Someone who is troubled by their lust and wants to be free is on the opposite side of that line.
Look at the people God used. David's lust led to adultery and murder, and God forgave him and called him a man after his own heart. His prayer after it is one the church has used ever since:
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10 (NIV)
And in the New Testament, the promise has no footnote:
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9 (NIV)
If you have lusted, you are in good company and in good hands. Read Does God Forgive All Sins? and How To Repent. Some people also ask which sin is worst. The Bible does not rank them for the sake of a scoreboard; see Are All Sins Equal?.
How Do You Fight Lust?
Do not expect a single trick. Lust is fought by habit, community and grace together.
Guard What Goes In
Job's covenant with his eyes is practical. Decide beforehand what you will not watch, scroll or linger on. Put filters on your devices, remove the apps that feed it, and be especially careful at night and when you are alone. A bold plan made in the morning beats willpower at midnight.
Replace, Do Not Only Remove
An empty space gets refilled. Fill it with something good: exercise, service, a hobby, prayer, time with friends. Paul says to walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh:
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
Galatians 5:16 (NIV)
Do Not Fight It Alone
Lust grows in secret. Bring a trusted friend, pastor or counselor into it. Honest confession is not weakness, as James writes, it is how healing starts. If it has become compulsive, see Is Addiction A Sin? and How Does The Bible Address Habitual Sin?.
Stand On Grace
The cycle of failing, hiding and trying harder tends to feed the thing it hopes to defeat. Shame is no cure. Grace is. Start again each time, the same day. For more tools see How Can We Overcome Sins?.
Key Bible Verses About Lust
- Matthew 5:28: Jesus on looking lustfully.
- Job 31:1: a covenant made with the eyes.
- James 1:14-15: how desire grows into sin.
- 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5: control your body in holiness and honor.
- 1 John 2:16: the cravings of the flesh do not come from the Father.
- Galatians 5:16: walk by the Spirit.
- Psalm 51:10: a prayer for a pure heart.
- 1 John 1:9: confession and cleansing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will God forgive me if I lust?
Yes. Lust is a real sin, but it is not beyond the reach of grace. The promise of 1 John 1:9 covers every kind of unrighteousness, and repeated failure does not wear it out. See Does God Forgive All Sins? for more.
What is the number one worst sin?
The Bible does not give us a ranked list with one at the top. Some sins do more damage and carry heavier consequences, but every sin separates us from a holy God, and every sin is forgiven in Christ. See Are All Sins Equal? for the long answer.
Is lust an unforgivable sin?
No. Jesus names only one unforgivable sin, blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which is a settled and hardened rejection of him. A person grieved over their lust is showing the opposite of that hardness. Repent and receive forgiveness.
Is it a sin to masturbate thinking of my husband?
Desire for your own spouse is a gift, not lust in the sense Jesus condemned. The questions to ask are whether it draws you toward your husband or pulls you into secrecy and withdrawal, and whether your thoughts stay with him. I discuss this in my article on masturbation.
Is gooning a sin?
Gooning is prolonged, compulsive sexual arousal usually fed by pornography, and I would call it sinful. It is lust cultivated on purpose and it enslaves the mind. If you are caught in it, see Is Watching Porn A Sin? and ask for help from someone you trust.
Is lust one of the seven deadly sins?
Yes, lust appears on the traditional list of seven deadly sins that came from the early church, though the list itself is not found in Scripture. Read The Seven Deadly Sins for how the church came to name them.
